'Time' Doesn't Look Like A Word Anymore

I love that I can write things here and you find them without me having to say anything. I'm really awake because I slept til 5pm today. I didn't mean to, I kept snoozing the alarm. I had some strange dreams last night. I dreamt that my skin was crawling with these tiny black flies, then I woke up scratching my scalp like mad trying to get them out, I had scratches all over my arms. Took me a while to realise it was a dream; I was in that haze where absurdity bleeds into reality, like oil into water. And Sian the ginger lesbian was in my dream too. It seems like the things you say rattle around my head until they're released as unconscious musings, or put into writing. Here's a question: Why do the clocks go back at 2am? Surely they should go back at 1am, or midnight. I don't understand the clock system. I don't think time is a thing that should be messed with. Time as a concept in itself confuses me. Like, who decided how long a second would be? Also the whole clocks going back or forwards business hurts my brain, I can't get my head around it. So I'm not changing the time on my phone, I'm going to stay in my time, until whenever the clocks go forward(?) again. I like being fifty fifty, half the year in time with the rest of the country and half the year in my time. And the best part of it all is when I wake up on a uni day, see the time is 10am, and think shit, better get ready, then realise that the actual time is only 9am and I can have another hour of sleep. It's strange how your relationship with sleep fluctuates as you age. I never slept well as a child. My parents could never get me to sleep before midnight as a baby, and then I'd be awake again at 4am with copious amounts of energy to cause havoc, and they'd have to get up to entertain me. In primary school I could never get to sleep easily at night; I remembered hearing that the average person takes 7 minutes to get to sleep and thinking that was impossible. But I'd watch my dad fall asleep in front of the television, and my brothers fall asleep on long car journeys so figured it was possible, and that I just wasn't average. I went into my brother's room one night and asked him for tips on how to get to sleep quickly. He said he didn't know how he did it, he just did. In secondary school I used to want to sleep late in the mornings, instead of getting up for breakfast. Then the insomnia happened and I'd never sleep before 4am. At it's worst I would get to sleep at 6.30am, then be up getting ready for school at quarter to eight. At weekends I'd sleep til 4pm, In the Christmas holidays of year 10 I didn't see sunlight for four days. In first year at Kingston I never fell asleep before midnight. And now an early night is my favourite thing. But tonight I can't sleep. I swear this house feels so much colder when you're not here next to me. I have to change. I have to get better at talking to you. I need to learn to let down the guards I've put up. I need to open up. I'm sorry it's not a thing I've realised sooner; I get so wrapped up in my own little dramas. I want to be able to tell you anything and everything, I want you to know what's in my head. So, as of now, I'm blogging again. This is where I start trying.