Collapse

I'm not doing so great at the moment. Everything I touch seems to collapse around me. When I'm at uni I want to be home, when I'm home I want to be back at uni. I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I've been away so long and things carried on without me, they found new puzzle pieces to replace me and I don't fit anymore. I'm not actually sure I can call either place home now. So here I am, not homeless, but feeling a bit homeless really. I've got absolutely mountains of uni work to be doing and I haven't even started. I'm scared, I know it won't be to the standard of last semester, because I feel like crap. And when I feel like this the last thing I want to do is write essays. Maybe I could get some of the creative writing done, but it involves a lot of reading too and I can't focus. It's not like I can't do it. Without bragging, I'm sure I could conjure something up and pass, but I don't want to just pass. I want to do well. I want to keep getting firsts, but it's a lot of work. I have to work out whether it's worth the effort. I've been listening to Adele on repeat, because let's face it, it's one of those days. I'm just not really sure what I'm doing with my life at the moment. It all feels a bit pointless, you know?

"I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over. Never mind, I'll find someone like you." - If only it was so easy.