Mistaken

It was definitely just an apology. That was what I needed. And now the apology has sunk in, the feelings have gone again. I get these little moments where my mind tells me lies. Moments where the emotions blend together and become unclear. I mistook the apology for something more. And my thankfulness for the apology for something more than friendship. When you've loved someone, of course that feeling never completely goes away, you'll always care for them. But I'm a different person now. And so is she. My mind went into overdrive. My Bipolar makes me sky high. I get happy and suddenly I'm in a perfect world where everything makes sense. I make connections that seem to make sense at the time. It's called mania for a reason. And it's only til I come back down that I realise what things really meant. I loved her then. But I'm not the same person who could love her now. It took me a long time to move on but now I see that it would never have worked out. And there's no way that it could. Now I'm back in the real world I can see that. So thanks for my apology. But I won't be in touch anytime soon.