Postsecret 03/07/11

So I realise that this is almost a week late but I thought I'd get it in before the secrets change tomorrow. Check them out by clicking here.

In fact words in any sense are running rather thin lately. But after 5 years or so of reading other people's secrets, I've decided I'm going to find the words and actually send one in.

Postsecret - 26/06/11

It's that time of week again.. be sure to check out this week's secrets by clicking here. Here are a couple that I've picked out as my own. I've been a bit useless with this blog recently but I'm trying to get back on track. Enjoy!

 

This is my favourite secret from this week's postcards. Sometimes when I browse through the secrets it amazes me that some people's hidden thoughts are identical to mine. I had a rough few years before I ended up at Kingston. And this year has been the best of my life. I really didn't want to leave, for so many reasons. Not just halls but everything about university. It's the amalgamation of everything, the whole experience. It saved me; it really did. I don't really know why it's a secret that it did, but I suppose it's because explaining that to people would involve divulging information about myself that meant I needed saving. And that's the real secret.

If I could scratch out the last line of this secret I would. I already know that true love is out there. But the reason I obsessively watch a particular tv show is because it gives me the hope that everything will be okay in the end. That's what I cling on to.

Postsecret 17/04/11

It's that Postsecret time of the week again kids! This week the secrets are really good.. I think there are more than usual and I found a lot that I can relate to, so this is going to be a special extended version of this blog post. Check out the secrets for yourself by clicking here.

 

My belief in God has wavered over the year, but I do like to believe that there is some kind of more powerful force than us, that some kind of God exists.And if he does exist in a form similar to us, I do hope he listens to sad songs when he's feeling blue. It can't be easy watching a world that you created descend into war and poverty, and see it destroyed by natural disasters and human activity. I reckon a bit of The Cinematic Orchestra on repeat might help him to think straight, just like me.

The next two secrets sort of contradict each other but I will explain why I have included both of them.

 

I like this secret because it is very honest. Having both suffered from mental illness and been in a relationship with someone with a mental illness I know that maintaining a relationship can be difficult. I think in that kind of relationship it does sometimes feel like you are having a relationship with the illness and not the person, and that is a challenge. But that person wouldn't be who they are without that illness, and if you love that person, it shouldn't matter. It does complicate things, and sometimes you just feel like giving up, but it's not always bad. I think the person who wrote this secret was going through a difficult stage. I know I've felt that way sometimes.

 

This is my favourite secret from this week's postcards. When suffering from a mental illness it can be really difficult to see yourself as an individual, as opposed to a statistic. But I found that there are certain people out there who can help you to rediscover yourself. I owe my sanity to my brilliant friends who stuck by me through the darkest times and made me realise that I was still a person.

Postsecret 10/04/11

Sorry, I'm a few days late with my Postsecret post this week, sorry! Just had a browse through the secrets and picked out my favourite. Check out this weeks secrets by clicking here.

As you may know I'm a bit of a Twitter addict. Twitter's strange, because you can have complex relationships with people you've never met, interlinking conversations with multiple people at once. You build up a knowledge of a person based on a collection of 140 character tweets. But it's brilliant in the way that you can send out a message to all your followers, hundreds of people, and it can be completely indirect to most, but be very clear to a small number of those followers. And you do have to wonder sometimes whether someone's indirect tweets are ever aimed at you. I think I only wonder about it because I do it to other people. Guilty as charged!

Postsecret 03/04/11

It's that Postsecret time of week again kids! Just had a look at all the postcards and there's quite a good variety of secrets this week. Click here to check them out for yourself!

I tend to be a person who doesn't have many regrets. But I always think that towards the end of life, when you have lots of time to think over the things you've achieved or done, the things that you remember most are the things you shouldn't have done in the first place. They become more memorable because they were more fun, more outgoing, more risky and more amusing than what you should have been doing. Over the years I've made a fair number of irresponsible decisions, but I hope that, whilst attempting not to ruin my life, I make more in the future. I want to have some brilliant things to look back on when I'm older. Also, I love how drunk this sheep looks.

Postsecret 27/03/11

So it's that Postsecret time of week again. Had a browse through the postcards earlier and there aren't any this week that jump out as a secret of my own, so I found this that I print-screened a while back. I'm not sure what the actual date of this Postsecret was, but it was the comment left underneath it that I loved most about it. Click here to check out this week's Postsecrets and pick yours out for yourself.


Once upon a time I was with a girl who loved Postsecret as much as I did, and we often wondered if we'd recognise each other's secrets in Postcard form. I'm not really sure whether I see my scars as a sign that I survived, or a sign that I almost didn't; but I can remember what caused certain ones. Why I did that. What made me feel that bad. And I remember the night I showed her my scars, we talked about what they all meant for me and why I'd done them in the first place. We talked them all through. I still remember the 'Fuck' she exclaimed when I showed her the three scars on my thigh. 'Where the tiger got me'. Analogies. Euphamisms. Like back in 2007 when I was in hospital and the little girl in the bed opposite me asked me what had happened to my arm, and her mother jumped in and said 'She was juggling a goldfish bowl, just like Uncle Matt'. I always thought that was a very beautiful way of putting it. But the little girl accepted it and carried on and I thanked her mother for what she'd said, because I didn't know how to reply to such an innocent little person. Anyway. The comment underneath this secret, I always liked to think it was from the girl I was brave enough to show my scars to. Sometimes I wonder whether it actually was.

Postsecret 20/03/11

It's Postsecret time. Actually Postsecret time was technically on Sunday but I'm always a bit behind the times so Postsecret time is now! Make sure to check out this week's secrets by clicking here!

There are so many places that I wish I could go back to; some physical, some metaphorical. Some just times in my head where things were settled. But this picture made me think of one in particular. I miss you.

Postsecret - 13/03/11

It's Sunday and I'm actually awake; this is new! Just checked out the Postsecrets for this week, and you can see them by clicking right here!

This secret jumped out at me and I immediately claimed it as my own. It happens all the time. The latest example... I manage to get four firsts at uni for my first semester but things still manage to turn upside down and go wrong. Things are going right but I don't feel good about it, just sad and angry. But it shouldn't be like that; it's like I'm purposely sabotaging my own life... what's that about?

Postsecret 27/02/11

I haven't been posting regularly lately but I'm trying to get back on track so I thought I'd start with a postcard from yesterday's Postsecrets. Click here to check the rest of them out.

There are lots of people in my life that this secret applies to; too many people have chipped little parts of me away, and taped little bits back on, and I don't know who I am anymore. I have to stop letting myself change for others. I have to stop getting hurt.

Postsecret 16/01/11

Check out the postsecrets this week by clicking here.

I think this will be my secret one day.

Postsecret 09/01/11

I've just had a little look at this week's Postsecrets, and I think you should do the same by clicking here.I'm on a lot of medication, some for physical health problems, some for mental health problems, like Bipolar disorder and insomnia. I've always wished I could be a person who can survive without medication, and I've tried completely stopping taking them all before. But it just doesn't work. I don't sleep, I double over in pain from my stomach, I get acid reflux, I go a little bit crazy. And I really wish I knew how everyone else did it without them. I so want to be a normal person without pills, more than anything.

Postsecret 02/01/11

So I'm actually posting my Postsecret post on time this week! Keeping in nicely with my new year's resolution to post my blogs when I say I will. Just been looking at this week's Postsecrets, which you can check out by clicking right here. There are lots of good ones this week. Here are a couple of postcards I've picked out, as secrets of my own.

I'm not sure if I'm waiting for someone or something to come back, except perhaps my sanity or youth. But I don't expect they'll ever return. Certainly not the latter anyway. But I always feel like I'm waiting for something. Some people feel like they've always forgotten something, but I always feel like I'm waiting. I remember in the summer, when I'd been waiting so long for my exam results, and to find out whether or not I'd got into university, and then everything came at once. And then, there was nothing left for me to wait for. It was really unsettling. But that feeling passed after a while. And I'm still waiting. I don't know what for. The end maybe? Or for somebody to come back to me; I don't know. But what I do know is that I don't know what I'm living for. I just keep going in the hope that what I'm waiting for turns up, and turns out to be good.

This one isn't my secret; I'm still thinking.