Hide And Seek

So it's March. Match was supposed to be the month that we started house hunting. But now that it's here I can't think of anything I'd like to do less. And it's far too late to try and find other people to live with, maybe I could find myself a one-bed flat or something.. I don't know. I don't know what to do, and it's getting me down so much. I'm so unorganised, I'm so young in my head and the autism doesn't help.. it's such a challenge to think about these sorts of things. When I was younger it didn't seem like such a problem but life is catching up with me and overtaking me and not bothering to look back. It's like children with Asperger's seem to have more adult qualities, but adults with it seem to have more childlike qualities. I don't know. I'm so muddled up and you're bombarding me from every direction. No I don't want to live in a house that the uni inspects all the time.. I want to live in my own place separate from the uni. I'm fed up already with being checked on all the time in halls. Next year is supposed to be about freedom. So I'm not texting back, I'm not replying to your facebook messages and I'm not commenting on what you wrote on my wall. I'm hiding. I'll just stay here and play my guitar loud enough so that people can tell I'm still alive from time to time. I want to press pause on life and then lose the remote. But I have oreos, so it can't all be bad. It just feels like it's all bad. It really does feel that way.