Four, Three, Two, One, Kaboom.

I'm crying. I haven't cried in ages. I have things I want to say but I can't. I just read over the last email. I can't even remember if I replied. It seems like a world away and I'm not really sure why. And I read that great long thing I wrote. And cried some more. And now I'm still crying. I think what you have to say will be one of three things. All bad. I so want to know what it is, but if it's any of the three as soon as I've read it I'll wish I hadn't. Because being 99% sure of something is easier than knowing for certain. If it's something bad I mean. But I'm not saying I don't want to know. I still think you should press the big orange button. Or email it if it's not that easy. Type it up and see how you feel. I've just thought of a fourth thing it could be. If it's none of these four things then I'll be okay. I just want to know what it is.