No More

New notebook, new pen, new beginning. It's little, for all my little thoughts. London never lets me down; it's always eventful, but I have to stop it, even if that means not visiting one of my favourite places on Earth for a very long time. It's gone too far now, I mean, you're engaged, and there are rings. And you really do love her, and you don't love me; that's the difference. But it's not a problem, because I don't want it. What you two have is real, and I don't want to ruin it. It's rare what you have. I don't want to be a home-wrecker, and I don't want to break her heart by her finding out. It happened, but it doesn't have to happen again. I have to stop looking at you that way, and you have to stop the eye contact. Because I really value you as a friend. And if we don't find Erica, we'll need to pull together, because I feel like it's our fault she's gone missing. We didn't look after her, we left her there, and for some reason thought she'd be okay with those people from the club, they seemed lovely. I haven't cried yet, I'm too scared something's happened.