Changes

I haven't sat here and written in a really long time. I'd say going on two years? Of course I remember what it was. I remember who I was writing about and even what colour the notebook was. It was lime green. And I'm pretty sure it was windy like this too. I'm going back to Kingston tomorrow. Back to my home away from home, back to the people I now call my friends. It's odd to think about really, the last time I travelled from here to Kingston I knew nobody there, yet seven weeks on, I'm going back to the people I know. People I am proud to call my friends. It's amazing how quickly your life can transform. My life is completely different now. Seven weeks ago I'd never have believed that my flat would go up in flames, that I'd become amazing friends with the girl who lives in the room opposite me, and be facing some crazy dilemmas regarding a certain girl who I now cannot stop thinking about. Remarkable. I'd never have believed that my course could be going so well, and that I'd be writing a blog with close to 1,000 views. It's mad. I really can't believe how much have changed. I also can't believe that this is the first time I've really sat down and thought about it in depth. My writing is going well; I'm writing every day as they advice. I'm thinking a lot, possibly too much. I wonder how much things will change between now and Christmas. It's so windy that my notebook just blew off the bench. Once again the weather matches my emotions which are in turmoil, but I understand now that all I can do is wait. So I'm waiting. Patiently. Impatiently. It's one or the other but I can't work out which. I'm doing productive things to pass the time, I think that's the way forward. I finished my assignment today. This is the first time that I can think of that I've actually done a piece of work that counts for something and finished it prior to the day before it's due in. I'm proud of myself. I'm a changed person. I didn't think about it whilst I was at uni, it just didn't cross my mind. I'm definitely more organised. I have folders for my work, still 100% attendance. My psychiatrist said that he was proud of me. And my old psychiatrist sent me a letter saying that he was proud of me too. Bless him :) I wonder how much more I'll change before I come back here again. There is no way I can know in advance. I don't know what's going to happen in the next six weeks. My whole life could change, again. I'm eager to find out, I know that much. I've written two pages in my notebook, this will probably be one of the longest just prose blogs I've written in a while. So I'll stop now, and walk back. I do like it out here though. Is it strange that I feel like I belong outside when the weather is exciting like this? Perhaps I should go and live in a tree. Although that'd be quite scary. I might sit on my windowsill later and swing my legs through nothingness like old times. Yes. That is exactly what I'll do. Let's go.