Boxing Day

In the vast entirety of the English Language, I don't believe there are any words to describe the way I feel right now. You have become strong, drawn back and punched me a million times in the stomach; knocked the life right out of me. Perfectly in the spirit of boxing day. Boxed me straight to the grave. It feels like you've killed me, so why am I still here? So you're engaged. To one day be married. And no matter how long it takes to come to that I won't be able to sit through a ceremony knowing what I know. Having the feelings for you that I do. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I don't want to do this anymore. Fuck. I just can't believe that this has happened. It was only a couple of weeks ago you told me that you wanted the single life; then you go and propose to her? I feel lost. I don't know how to recover from this.