Definitely not feeling right.

However unsure of how I am feeling. I'm not tired, nor am I unwell. I'm just... absent, in some way. I have yet to call this place home, despite being here for a month now. I have yet to feel that I am really here, or that I belong. I was aching to study in London, because I always felt at home in the capital. I haven't been for a whole day in London yet, like I always used to when I was residing at home. I do need a day out though, a day away, a day of writing maybe. It might fix me; make me feel myself again. I often feel like crying, but the tears don't come anymore, not like they used to. I think it's probably because I don't feel comfortable enough here to let my real self come out. I never know what to do with myself; I've resorted to watching shitty game shows to while away the hours. And all the work I've been given gets done as soon as they hand it to me due to sheer lack of other means of entertainment. If my loan was enough to fund socialising then I'd be out every night, but on £50 a week I'm rather limited. Perhaps this contributes to my low moods. Perhaps it's just the way I'm feeling this week. It scares me so much thinking that I've got to stick at this for three years, especially as I'm such a 'live in the moment' person. I just hope it becomes more stimulating. Creative Writing has be captured every time, but English Language feels so repetitive. I despise saying that because it's my favourite subject, but I feel like all we do is recap A Level work. A Level work that I've already learnt, and learnt well enough to achieve an A grade. I'm yearning to learn something new, something that makes me go 'Wow', like I was all the way through sixth form. If that happened maybe I'd feel more enthusiastic about everything. More confident that I'm spending thousands of pounds, and setting myself up for decades of debt for a decent education. Maybe the reason for my worries is simple; lack of sleep, and the answer is as plain as 'Go to bed'. Perhaps I shall.