Sunday, 31 October 2010

Distraction Of The Mind

Okay I can't stop thinking about it. You're distracting me and you don't even know you're doing it. What if something could have happened, but me coming back home has ruined all possibilities. Has something begun? Or did it just happen, a one off? All I know is that I'm trying to read a ridiculously boring short story and technically analyse it, but I can't. Mainly because you're on my mind. This is one of the things I hate most about myself, my inability to let things go. It was one insignificant night, why can't I think of it that way? Why can't I forget it altogether?

All the things she said, running through my head.

I thought coming home would help me to forget and move on, and granted, I've not been here 24 hours yet, but it's still on my mind all the time. I really hope it passes, or else how will I be able to be friends with my friends again? I really need to stop thinking about it. I need something else to consume my thoughts. And not just for the benefit of my uni work that's due in tomorrow. For my sanity. But I can't help reliving it over and over. I need to know what will happen when I see you next. I can't wait til the moment comes around. I need to know. But I can't ask. Oh but waiting is agony.

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