Kaleidoscope

Sometimes the world gets a little much. I have the feeling to run, to escape. It's like everything was black and white but now, it's a kaleidoscope of colours running into each other and hurtling in all directions. Dizzy. Muddled. I spend all day in a white box with ugly blue curtains. You couldn't even play ping pong in this tiny little hovel. I thought I'd cherish having my own space and being independent like this. But I feel trapped. I know a lot of people on my English Language course are wondering at the moment whether they've paid thousands of pounds for a pointless degree; I don't blame them half the time, because it's mostly just recaps of what we learnt at A level as I've said before. So I'm trapped on a course, as I've paid, and it's money I have to pay back. And trapped in this room. It wasn't what I had expected. I don't feel like this all the time. Sometimes it's enough room for me, but it's never quite enough room for me to sort my thoughts out or make the world seem any less messed up. I don't know what to do. I hope I feel more straightened out tomorrow, more plain and simple. Let's see.