Expelling My Thoughts

It's now feeling a little more like it may actually happen again. I'm not worrying about it so much now, I feel like I have a bit more of an answer. We never used to text everyday. Today we texted for hours. I feel like I'm getting to know you better. I'm seeing you Saturday, despite my better judgments and the wise words of my flatmate. I want to see you, I want to avoid words and show not tell. But is this what I really want? Do I just want the feeling you give me? Because I really don't want to break you and her up. I want a bit of fun but what if you want more than that? I don't know. We'll have to see what happens on Saturday. Maybe it'll be completely innocent, back to being just really good friends. But I can't help but feel that history is repeating itself. I wish I knew why my life has to be such a massive deja vu of itself. Around this time two years ago I remember feeling all the same things with somebody else. Somebody who turned out to be a huge part of my life. What if the same thing happens again? I remember sitting in the common room, catching her eye just like I caught yours. Wondering if anyone would see us, just like Friday. Knowing fully well that she had a girlfriend, everything is exactly the same. It really scares me how similar the situations are, and how similar the feelings I get are. I just wish I had the answers to all the questions that keep floating around my head. I wonder when they will all be answered. I hope it's soon. But yes, today has contained a great deal of progression. I feel a bit more sure of the situation now. You've surprised me, I never thought you'd do anything like this. But am I complaining? Of course not.