Tonight I want to go back to Germany, back to being on tour with football. That was so, so much fun. And we were so young, everything was easy. I want to go back there, and relive everything from that point onwards. I'm not doing so great. Plunged somewhere deep and dark and underwater and the surface seems beyond reach. Uni is so complicated and the work is difficult and there's just a ridiculous amount of reading. One of the books is over 700 pages and that's one of two books that I have to read in that specific week. Ugh. I feel so weighed down and I've only just started back. I got so out of the swing of doing things and now it's all too much. I've been sleeping a lot. Too much. Things have changed. That's all I can say. I have so many things I want to say, but I can't.
Be 100% when I'm with you, and then the perfect heart's length away. This song says what I can't. It's so hard. And I do feel like I'm living a half life. Maybe even a quarter life, not much of a life. So I want to go back to being 13, or 14, however old I was back then. Before bits of my life started getting chipped away. You never promised me anything, that's the thing. I want to talk about things, but you just don't. I wrote something in my notebook which I was intending to post but I'm not going to. Does it even register on your conscience? That's something I'd like to know. I'd like to think it did if you're the person I think you are. But I guess I'll never know.
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